Helicopter parents are typically associated with Generation Y — over involved parents who frequently overstep their bounds and “hover” over their child. Some parents look at themselves as being “loving and caring” and not hovering. So, how do you know if you’re acting like a helicopter parent?
- Are you doing things for your child they can do for themselves?
- Did you fill out your child’s college application for them?
- Have you ever written large sections of your child’s papers?
- Do you associate your child’s academic achievements with your own?
Although you may feel like you’re just trying to help, acting like a helicopter parent can make your child feel inadequate and unable to finish these tasks on their own. Especially when they are going off to college, you should be granting them independence and opportunity to do things for themselves that they may have not had in high school.
There’s a huge difference between being an element of support for your child and being over-involved and controlling in their adult life. Realize that they need to make mistakes on their own in order to learn; they need to fail in order to succeed; they need to experience in order to grow.
This doesn’t mean you can’t be involved in any way, however. Ask your child what help they need instead of inserting yourself into their lives. Offer advice but don’t finish tasks for them. You have a lot to offer — but you want to make sure you’re not being the adult when your child already is one.
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